Family Law: Divorce - Ginger Murray

Sly- You hear their jingle frequently on this radio station, from Lawton and Cates, it’s Ginger Murray. Good morning Ginger.

Ginger- Good morning, Sly.

Sly- How are you doing?

Ginger- I’m doing just fine thank you.

Sly- Good. You practice Family Law correct?

Ginger- That’s true.

Sly- This is not easy.

Ginger- It’s not easy. Having just heard your listeners, I hear a lot of that animosity in divorces.

Sly- Alright, so half of marriages end up in divorce. What are people going to expect if they end up having to hire a lawyer and have to deal with their spouse’s lawyer?

Ginger- I guess we’ll start with some of the basics, Sly. It used to be that everybody was watching TV and learning about divorces through TV, and they thought that they had to prove some sort of scandal, that there was an affair, that there was infertility or abuse. The good news is that Wisconsin, just like many other states, is a no fault divorce state. So what that means is for the purposes of getting a divorce is that the courts are not interested in people airing their dirty laundry. One spouse has to be prepared to say “my marriage is irretrievably broken” fancy words that mean jeez we’re not going to be able to fix this.

Sly- That’s a nice way of saying see ya.

Ginger- Right. Yeah.

Sly- Buh-bye.

Ginger- Yeah. Exactly. And so you want to find a lawyer that understands what you’ve been through and what your goals are. There are lots of ways to start that action, you and your spouse may just both come to an agreement, yeah it’s time to part ways. There is a real friendly way that we can do that, it’s called a joint petition. You can file the joint petition which allows both people to kind of save face and say yes it’s time and we agree that we’re going to get this divorce.

Sly- But even in a joint petition, and even if things are starting out well, I’ve seen this where things start out well but you should still be represented.

Ginger- I absolutely agree with that, Sly. Before I came to Lawton and Cates I was a family court commissioner for over five years so I was preceding over these cases and-

Sly- You saw it all.

Ginger- I saw it all. And even now as a lawyer, sometimes we’re in a situation where the other party doesn’t have a lawyer. Look, you’re talking about your kids, you’re talking about your income, your house, your finances-

Sly- Your future.

Ginger- Your future. And you don’t want to leave that to luck that you might be able to find your way through the maze that the court system presents when you’re dealing with a family law action.

Sly- So while things may start out in an amicable way and you both just want to get out of it, trust but verify.

Ginger- Absolutely. The courts and the law are set up to help you with that. First of all everyone is required to have a financial discloser statement and it’s very important that that be thorough and each partner, each parent make sure that the other person is disclosing all of their assets. Some of the most difficult cases are when there is a family run business or self employed wage earner. That’s when you often need a lawyer to get to what are the real assets, the real income and how do I get to that. And that is through discovery.

Sly- How do you get the ball rolling? I know that seems like a rudimentary question because I remember on The Sopranos when Carmella wanted to divorce Tony and he made sure that he tied up all of the good divorce attorneys in town so that she wouldn’t be well represented.

Ginger- Unfortunately that happens. We’ll have someone that calls every attorney and talks in enough detail that you conflict out the other attorneys.

Sly- Really?

Ginger- So that happens. That is real. That is one of the things you can see on TV that actually can happen. You need to, again, get in there and talk to a lawyer. Find a lawyer who’s going to be able to help you and it’s important to build a strategy early on. In fact you might meet with your lawyer once or twice before you actually file. Especially if there has been abuse in the relationship. When I am working with a victim of abuse, we really need to focus on a safety plan for the victim and for the children in the household.

Sly- Ginger Murray from Lawton and Cates with us. We’re talking about family law today. How do they get a hold of you at Lawton and Cates?

Ginger- Thanks for asking. Our phone number is 282-6200. We also have a website, www.lawtoncates.com, where there are profiles of myself and all the other lawyers in the firm as well.

Sly- Why is it important to have a specialist in family law?

Ginger- It’s important to make sure that there is someone who knows the ins and outs because oftentimes there are rules but the exceptions are really going to be where the case is decided. Again, you’re talking about the most precious aspects of your life, your children, your home, your finances. So you need to come to someone that understands how to get the decision that you’re looking for.

Sly- What about restraining orders?

Ginger- Yup. Certainly that’s something that I’ve handled. Back when I was a commissioner, I actually presided over them. Restraining orders are orders that allow one person to seek the protection from the court when there has been abuse. The person can come in and we can file for the restraining order. That then protects them while they’re in their home. It prohibits the other person from coming into the home and just allows there to be a sanctuary for that time while we work through the divorce process.

Sly- Right. I’ve heard that some people aren’t getting divorced or they’re staying in the same home even though they’re getting divorced for economic reasons now.

Ginger- Sly, I wondered if that would come up because I’ve seen that the news has covered that, well not the news so much as other areas of the media. I believe that to be true and I think that’s really unfortunate because families are already stressed and now they’re not getting out when they know they should, the children are affected. The child psychologist will tell you that the children experience trauma when they’re in a family where parents aren’t getting along. It used to be that the parents would stay together for the children’s benefit. Clinicians now tell us that when children are kept in a household where parents don’t get along have the same sort of traumatic experiences as kids who are actually victims themselves. If you have a difficult situation financially, the court is still going to deal with you fairly. And lawyers can help you come up with crafty ways to protect your assets. The court is going to look at the incomes of both wage earners, and I think that’s a concept that gets lost because sometimes people who are the wage earners feel as though they have a higher entitlement to that income than the person who’s been staying at home taking care of the children. The courts are going to help you, especially when you have a lawyer who’s prepared and provided the evidence to support that both of those spouses are entitled to income.

Sly- And conversely, sometimes fathers feel like they get the short end of the stick with visitation because they’re the wage earner.

Ginger- I’m glad that you asked that. I do want to point out that I think we’ve come a long way in that area. I know when I was on the bench, I got to go to judicial conferences and I can see that there’s a change. I represent men and women. There are just as many men who have sole custody and primary placement.

Sly- What’s your phone number again?

Ginger- 282-6200

Sly- And your website is lawtoncates.com?

Ginger- That is correct.

Sly- Thank you very much for coming on Ginger.